And we think of making this place shanghai

1. a family still in the area of the constant 36 hr past terror including my grandmom who is bedridden...
2. cousins friend shot dead at Oberoi
3. Cousin at Oberoi for 36hrs
4. my parents who were to go oberoi this week
5. that story of her parents escaping Taj..n then their taxi being bombed
6. that threatre, cafe where we chilled jus about the same time 4 months ago
7. cousin who went to check for dead bodies for his friend...
8. a friends sister shot dead at Taj

We are still far from making Mumbai, Shanghai...
we rather just make it kashmir...

still not over the shock of it all...the trauma will take way more than time to settle and sink in ...

When I think like a high school kid:)

i blush wen i talk to u..
u make me smile..want to talk to u more..
i dunno if u r genuinely nice...
or jus using me to get thru shitty times...
but i do know that
i wanna know u more..
m beginning to feel again..
but m scared
of a decent friendship...
coz this feeling messes everythin up...
i kinda do like ur company...
n its weird

i dunno if this is me tryin to escape frm past or wat...
or an incentive to get me over bad memories...
but somtimes in life
u get this vibe
that some feelings are honest
n after him..
this is the first time its so happenned
that m actually having this thing...for some1...

mmmmm.............................lol............................may b i do need a break...

dear god.

i dunno y m guilty of movin on...
but i m...
i dunno y m scared of wats gonna happen next
but i m...
dad tells me i get things late in life
coz god always keeps the best for me in store
god...plz protect me from being misused...
i m really alone
n m alive with with fact that u r protecting me...
u r naa?
please dont let me do the wrong things...

n....the 2000$ and the work permit...

got a $2000 scholarhsip frm school
cheque in my hand..which goes towards my new MAC!
n lol...
my work permitttttttttttttttt
Finally!!!!

When I lit the night....

One more test that i withstood...
proud i m ...that in that pain
both physical and emotional...
i walked through the nite...

a yr and a few odd days...
proud i m..of where i m today
that i fought like always...
against what was the norm..

sometimes did the wrong
but proud i m... that eventually
got it right...n helped others
gettinit right...

life couldnt have got harder...
but proud i m ....that i m jus by myself
a few those supported though
arent nemore here today

when i lit the night...in the snow..
proud i m ...that it wasnt the warmth
of the flames...but that of my spirit...
that made me survive thorugh the cold icy winds..

in more pain than i can handle...

this has been the worst since when I was hospitalized in May...n m not feeling too good...
m scared...too scared to go get tests done still...
m in more pain than i can handle...i wish if i was home in my bed sleepin..
but as work is piling up and I have been a slacker last few weeks...here i m in the library....waiting for it to be late enough that i can go home

Jaane kyun...lol

this song reminds me of tht every single moment i spent with friends...lol

Kudos to cia aman raghav rishi aysha mansi...lol..these 3 yrs have been fun raised to n coz of u all

JAANE KYUN DIL JAANTA HAII...TU HAI TO I'LL BE ALRIGHT!:P:P:P

kuch kam roshan hai roshini
kuch kam gili hai baaraishain
kuch kam leharati hai hawa
kuch kam hai dil main kwaahishyain
tham sa gaya hai
ye waqt aise..
tere liye hi
tehraa ho jaisee...

That dream about home, and these 2 drops of tears...

For all throughout my life I knew what I wanted, what made me happy...now i dont...
Everyday here is getting difficult..as an unknown fear of losing family is getting closer to the picture...

Remember that night...all dim lighted...with dadi...with alpa did carryin darsh in her...with jiju, didi you...mom dad dancing on the disco floor...thts where you left your family...n you never saw it back that way...
Remember ..u dint cry once be4 u left...except for that when little moment wen ur sister came from behind n hugged u tight...ad couldnt explain to you y she was cryin...
How did u manage ?to pull these 2 yrs and half...how did you survive widout seeing family around...u being the jaan of the house...u being that emotional fool who was attached all along...
Remember Shaz's last visit home?Remember that call from Mananbhai...thats where you left your friends ...how do you manage not being able to wish them on occassions...how do u manage to not speak to them every single breath of difficulty you take...

Even if you do go back..things will never be the same...di- u'll never be home...jiju and alpabhen...u'll never be stayin over in my bedroom...

you are busy here; not happy...
you fun here..you grow...
but you still dream of home..

:)

Hum jo chalne lage..chale lage hain yeh raastain
ahaan haan ...munzil se behtar lagne lage hain yeh raastain

Crazy Hormones...lol

There's one situation in life thats talked about -
A situation where everything happens exactly the way you want and you are still not happy...

lol...as people have said ever since high school...I go against the flow...n thts wat is happenning to me right now...its so weird that its freaky...

everything is happening right opposite to how I wanted it to be...everything...my dreams my expectations...
but yet m soo happy...

like i dont get it...he's online ..m pissed...i fought with him...i cried ...

i never wanted to stay back...n i actually am taking the step towards stayin back for 2 more years...

I never wanted people to enter again and I am actually now for my own sake meeting newer (and perhaps nicer )people...

n none of this is mking me feel sick of life...m actually feeling like on cloud nine...i have that exact same excitement in me as in first year...n feel like its the start of a fresh beginning ...

I see people around and wonder y the frown so much...y they complain soo much...

I m actually for once after a long time genuinely smiling and happy...

Is it the start of somethin totally new?Hormones can act crazy i tell u:)

my students...i love!...

"One of the keys to happiness: is jus to have a bad memory..."(7 Habits to Highly Effective Teens)

The Zoo surprise...n the hurry burry

The rez ppl took us to the ZOO...lol...FUNNNNNNNNN!
hhehehe...there are some sights that make you take a step back to think...wow..!
so many little things that GOd has made..that we fail to appreciate...
may that even be simple helping hands now n then...
yea..life means a lot more to me now...
n now that things are getting much smoother than before...
One thing I learnt about diversity-the minute u feel u have seen enough...just then your eyes fall on that one unnoticed, though totally unique fish in that lake...Yea..in this crowd of billions...there millions like me...n a few more millions different from me...i dunno how i survive in this crowd...but i like to be part of somethin thats soo diverse...

Peter Thomas- professsor, I dont know y i do idealise you- but your wrds- "you are star" make me feel I am somethin special...the fact that a few "stars" didnt make it say a lot...u speak so little...u mean so much...u instilled the confidence in me to go challenge my limits...n i owe this achievement to you as much as i owe it to my friends and family...

N omg...that guy in my group in training...."C"i shall call him...u are one cute guy...mm dunno if u know it...but jus telling u once again...u're darn cute...

m scared...

had loads of fun...like awesome loads...
woke up this morn wid apprehensions...was a lil scared if I wanted to stay behind for good...if ey was it...all those complications after i do stay back...life's gettin funnier
Have also noticed...that no matter how less work u have...in uni..life is such..u are not allowed to be free...just when i m done my midterms...i have a shit load of so much other work to do..but i likes...the works such that it keeps me going...looking frwd to a busy weekend..