I think i crib...serious shit..!

My new motto...
positive thinking...helpin me...wen things are going good...hmm...i wanna start new things newly..
i feel kinda weird...
sometimes gettin good grades doesnt mean a thing...wen u dont see other's happiness in urs...that u finally get down to think if thats it that made a difference...i wanna feel happy but strangely m not..
i'll keep workin...
I feel my parents are the cutest thing ever...
my dad...hahah...jus kiddin darling...lala...heard him play with my baby personality after soo long...
my mom...hehehe...she's like the cutest thing ever---she made gulab jamun jus coz i miss them...lol...though not enough ppl ate it...

m thinking that my parents are the best things that ever happened to me...
mmm... feel God's given me so much happiness by default...loving parents...a sis that loves gettin angry at her lil one...uses her as a stressball and then cries wen she feels she's hurt her...omg..adorable family i tell u...

my friends...heheh...its strange how they actually make my family here...like reminding me each time if i took my keys...knowing me so well...packing my bags...reming me of my seminars...understanding why i feel what, leaving me imagine if they have some gods voice in them or somethin...

kk's message got the biggest smile on me ever...omg karthik...lol..jus omg...m glad my 96% doesnt smoke..yea m gettin possessive about him now...lol...he's nice...n i wish to know him better...

body blast:D:D:Dthe old lady fills my muscles with so much enthusiam...i have lost almost 4 pounds after coming back...which is good...i shuld get my test done soon n not slack off...jus that i dont have enough motivation..

i have been drinking really little water...yea aman i confesss

couplehood....hahaha... i read the funniest 20 pgs of my life last nite...
m sure gonna write a few things down...but i encourage reading the book rather...

manas...thnks for all the help helpin me fix her song..i love u...for taking so much time out for me to make sure m ok...u're an angel...

with 7 weeks left to home...
this is me...signing off with a note of highness...

"the most difficult phase of your life is not when no one undersatnads you...its when you dont understand urself"

Loads of love...~looking frward to the dhamaka...considering how much i love cutting vegetables for them...
~shetu

the new yr=)

1. I want to learn one new form of dance this yr...may b Salsa...
2. I want to be able to pray every single day till next yr...
3. I want to get back in touch with atleast 5 people with whom i lost touch last yr...
4. I want to burst crackers...
=)

Happy happy me me

I have been crazy busy this week with midterms ...going bad bad...one after the other...

I am in love with my myself..I am trying to play safe...and I destressed when i had to.

lots of chocolates...some weight adding...but lots of fake smiles...till a point i felt i was doing that so much that i didnt even realize i was faking it.!

markets crashing all over the world have given me some anxiety. Is this marking a huge bubble bursting of the finance sector? Will millions of people lose jobs or switch industries?will it give people the same feeling as they had of the internet world in 2000's. The loss of confidence in professionals-Has the fall of states began? Will it lose the value of my job?And will this mark the end of speculators and day traders and arbritragers?I am getting worried about u bhaiya...n trust me...the markets crashing is not giving me the rite vibe...

The EY offer party- I cant say this but i felt out of place!I wanted to meet my recruiters but couldnt find them. But I cant wait to work with them though-I want to get that feel of going to the Union station every single day...that picture perfect dream of working in that tall tower. the waking up every moring for a 2 hr commute. I cant wait for summer-This will by far gonna be the most exciting part of my life-considering I am a bee at this. I love some EY partners, down to earth...humble...I should get better at socializing though I hate it...I will try!

N hahah...i didnt realise-now I have 2 Rishi's in my life...

I m beginning to have this thing MR. 96%...I dunno why though...i have given up having a relationship...like i dont like being teased about mohit nemore...like i just want to be alone...i jus want to live my life on my own...i want to hate guys the way i had in the past...i wanna become this high school kid who cant trust new people...who cant let people come into her life...me in grade 8..ooooo...

I was thinking of that day back in school- that once wen Syl...had sat next to me to tell me stop being so depressed..Jus show me the smile...
N then i was thinking of the party...y wasnt i gettin the right vibe...may be it was me not socializing. I should get better at it...which I will as soon as I am there for work-

i want to have a guilty pleasure today-

Dear ...

i feel like i ruined ur life...but i still also feel that may be u ruined it on ur own. I still wish if we were friends...that we could have a conversation on the same table...that u would come home to ask me if my health was getting any better...that u would come back home to tell me how coming back to an empty home is creepy...that u 're scared of ur mom ....that u are scared of losing that trust ur parents have on u...that u feel i taught u the ways of life sometimes...that u would temme that u needed to walk me home even if it was that one lil block from the bus stop...coz u know the bus stop is not further than my capacity to talk and to not get u bored...that sometimes not all guys are the same...(lol..guess wat.... they are)

Its funny how whenever i bitched about u to some1 i secretly wished that you proved me wrong each time...that u know wat...u r going thru shit that people can see...that i m going thru one that people cant...that u know wat...she is ruining ur life...that u know wat...i cried the day i came to know that u didnt make it...thst u know wat...it hurt to see you smoke...that u know wat...i wish I have just one conversation with u nd that would fix everythin...that u know wat...jus ask me for help once...

So much in life i do for people that i wonder y are people rude to me...that y some1 i love dearly each time has to leave me just once they've made sure I cant do widout them....that y I forgive people to easily which lets them repeat their mistakes...that may be i give people too many "benefits of doubts"...that well may b ...my love is more that wat people need...that m sweeter than what people can handle...
A few lines that I remember...a song rather which makes sense to me again...

Zindagi main kabhi koi aaye naa rabba
Aaye jo kabhi toh fir jaye na rabba...
Dene ho agar mujhe baad main aasu
toh pehle koi hasaye na rabba...

Now + coz the day has been happy!

5 things after long-

1. uske ghar ka khana...naa actually how she took the kust of heating it up and serving it..
2. The music at HSC and the pub...it made me high..n made smile
3. Catchin up on sleep on not waking up to the alarm...YAY!!!!
4. A friend's company the entire day through
5. Me asking for help to get groceries home!!it meant somethin to me considering how i choose to be a superwoman in front of guys..
6. Catching up with 96%'s friend on the bus...lol




I am happy...gonna read a bit (couplehood..should finish it today) and then get some rest for a weekend full of studyin for labor econ...love my friends...thanks for bringing me life...

Missing ays..manas...rishi..weirdly today...that trio +1 pair we had last summer...
And guess wat...just 8 more weeks to home....excited!
:):):)

i finally talked itout

5 things-
1. I spoke to my dad n mom...after ages i spoke like a 5 yr old kid who had to say all she had been a bad bad child for.
2. I spoke to my sis...and m not tearing up anymore...it feels so good to be her sis...so proud
3. Her one story made me laugh...like really really laugh
4. Darsh..lol...dont fall again..i love u
5. Bombay Bhel with trace n lol...how they served more food to brown ppl...
6. RD's let have a bet...he makes me smile jus simply by givin me a sense that I am worth it all...
Life...i like...i love...i wanna live more...

lol and and....

my 96% love for him...hahahahahhah!

I love my friends..

5 things quickly-

1. Lol!....last nite is actually 1000 things of laughter
-that enacting evry1...best one-"quarter main kitne mahine hotain hain"
-the making of that video(which lol...i wana post somewhere for memory)
-the library till 5 a.m.
-taboo game-onta nahin re...thoda kam...hahah
-my students in the library forming their community-i love it
-my friends...simply the way they are
-my contagious hasi
-the ultimate-vibrate memories...
-my friends over ta my place not ready to sleep
-my luck with cards
-she playing reverse for everything...

2. My parents calling me up this morning from Spain just to know if I had a good exam

3. That crabb'S molten chocolate cake.

4.That early morning(not so early...12 after soo long)...Honey's call..Shazia's misscall

5. 6 days to MANHATTAN!

6.And can I add just one more-(meeting Maz on the way back at home-I didnt wanna see anyone and I am glad if was some1 who saw me in that state after my close ones-it was her)

My mickey mouse

I love this place-as if I am made for it
i cant wait to get started where ppl have given so much love...
like it matters to them..how we are ..how we r doing...

M gonna everyday of 5 things that made me smile:)

So for last nite-

1. A mom' trust on me that her daughter is fine just coz of my presence around...
2. That mickey mouse frm ey in my study cubicle at the library
3. That girl passing a note to the guy just in front of her in the cubicle by throwing chits in the air expecting it to fall on his cubicle...
4. K's...stop being a saddy(thnks!)
5. 8 more days to states-(cant wait to see u di...though wid bruised knees...hope u fix them..lol)

midterm today-LAW...makes me sleep...
lol

i hope for a good day:)

movin on-
so i shall
so i will

I want to be proud of the ppl in my life...

the problem is

y m i lloking bad in front of some1 though my intentions are right
jus coz i expressed my opinion first

y do some ppl get more than they deserve and others in need dont get anythin

i hate him...
for being rude
for being another M&M
for lying to me again n again
for hating me
his wrds- what do u want

his actions-his everythin

the problem is i cant hate some1 with a passion
the problem is I cant be rude