Happy happy me me

I have been crazy busy this week with midterms ...going bad bad...one after the other...

I am in love with my myself..I am trying to play safe...and I destressed when i had to.

lots of chocolates...some weight adding...but lots of fake smiles...till a point i felt i was doing that so much that i didnt even realize i was faking it.!

markets crashing all over the world have given me some anxiety. Is this marking a huge bubble bursting of the finance sector? Will millions of people lose jobs or switch industries?will it give people the same feeling as they had of the internet world in 2000's. The loss of confidence in professionals-Has the fall of states began? Will it lose the value of my job?And will this mark the end of speculators and day traders and arbritragers?I am getting worried about u bhaiya...n trust me...the markets crashing is not giving me the rite vibe...

The EY offer party- I cant say this but i felt out of place!I wanted to meet my recruiters but couldnt find them. But I cant wait to work with them though-I want to get that feel of going to the Union station every single day...that picture perfect dream of working in that tall tower. the waking up every moring for a 2 hr commute. I cant wait for summer-This will by far gonna be the most exciting part of my life-considering I am a bee at this. I love some EY partners, down to earth...humble...I should get better at socializing though I hate it...I will try!

N hahah...i didnt realise-now I have 2 Rishi's in my life...

I m beginning to have this thing MR. 96%...I dunno why though...i have given up having a relationship...like i dont like being teased about mohit nemore...like i just want to be alone...i jus want to live my life on my own...i want to hate guys the way i had in the past...i wanna become this high school kid who cant trust new people...who cant let people come into her life...me in grade 8..ooooo...

I was thinking of that day back in school- that once wen Syl...had sat next to me to tell me stop being so depressed..Jus show me the smile...
N then i was thinking of the party...y wasnt i gettin the right vibe...may be it was me not socializing. I should get better at it...which I will as soon as I am there for work-

i want to have a guilty pleasure today-

Dear ...

i feel like i ruined ur life...but i still also feel that may be u ruined it on ur own. I still wish if we were friends...that we could have a conversation on the same table...that u would come home to ask me if my health was getting any better...that u would come back home to tell me how coming back to an empty home is creepy...that u 're scared of ur mom ....that u are scared of losing that trust ur parents have on u...that u feel i taught u the ways of life sometimes...that u would temme that u needed to walk me home even if it was that one lil block from the bus stop...coz u know the bus stop is not further than my capacity to talk and to not get u bored...that sometimes not all guys are the same...(lol..guess wat.... they are)

Its funny how whenever i bitched about u to some1 i secretly wished that you proved me wrong each time...that u know wat...u r going thru shit that people can see...that i m going thru one that people cant...that u know wat...she is ruining ur life...that u know wat...i cried the day i came to know that u didnt make it...thst u know wat...it hurt to see you smoke...that u know wat...i wish I have just one conversation with u nd that would fix everythin...that u know wat...jus ask me for help once...

So much in life i do for people that i wonder y are people rude to me...that y some1 i love dearly each time has to leave me just once they've made sure I cant do widout them....that y I forgive people to easily which lets them repeat their mistakes...that may be i give people too many "benefits of doubts"...that well may b ...my love is more that wat people need...that m sweeter than what people can handle...
A few lines that I remember...a song rather which makes sense to me again...

Zindagi main kabhi koi aaye naa rabba
Aaye jo kabhi toh fir jaye na rabba...
Dene ho agar mujhe baad main aasu
toh pehle koi hasaye na rabba...

Now + coz the day has been happy!

5 things after long-

1. uske ghar ka khana...naa actually how she took the kust of heating it up and serving it..
2. The music at HSC and the pub...it made me high..n made smile
3. Catchin up on sleep on not waking up to the alarm...YAY!!!!
4. A friend's company the entire day through
5. Me asking for help to get groceries home!!it meant somethin to me considering how i choose to be a superwoman in front of guys..
6. Catching up with 96%'s friend on the bus...lol




I am happy...gonna read a bit (couplehood..should finish it today) and then get some rest for a weekend full of studyin for labor econ...love my friends...thanks for bringing me life...

Missing ays..manas...rishi..weirdly today...that trio +1 pair we had last summer...
And guess wat...just 8 more weeks to home....excited!
:):):)