The plan is to stay strong
To be a friend
to a friend...to a sis
The plan is to never let go
Of you, who has always cared
My dearest friends
"C , N & R"
I love you
more than nything else
you're my true assets
Monday, February 14, 2011
Thursday, December 3, 2009
you used the word 'care' and 'respect' to define a lot of feelings today...
it has helped, such a great deal to calm those many unspoken feelings..
that may be what I have for him is the niceness I want to return...
that his opinion counts because I respect those some attributes he makes visible..
and that love was a totally different thing...too far fetched for us to discuss
or to see in a person you've bearly known or seen around other people...
that while he was distant, it was easy to for him to hide qualities
he didnt want to make visible...and that you cant love him
because there is such a possibility that he is one among those
many people you dont like too much, or are not attracted to here...
This explains why, so many people who dream of the picture perfect guy
find them in long distance or online relationships, because its now so easy
to fit in that picture perfect definition, or become something others want you to be
it has helped, such a great deal to calm those many unspoken feelings..
that may be what I have for him is the niceness I want to return...
that his opinion counts because I respect those some attributes he makes visible..
and that love was a totally different thing...too far fetched for us to discuss
or to see in a person you've bearly known or seen around other people...
that while he was distant, it was easy to for him to hide qualities
he didnt want to make visible...and that you cant love him
because there is such a possibility that he is one among those
many people you dont like too much, or are not attracted to here...
This explains why, so many people who dream of the picture perfect guy
find them in long distance or online relationships, because its now so easy
to fit in that picture perfect definition, or become something others want you to be
you used the word 'care' and 'respect' to define a lot of feelings today...
it has helped, such a great deal to calm those many unspoken feelings..
that may be what I have for him is the niceness I want to return...
that his opinion counts because I respect those some attributes he makes visible..
and that love was a totally different thing...too far fetched for us to discuss
or to see in a person you've bearly known or seen around other people...
that while he was distant, it was easy to for him to hide qualities
he didnt want to make visible...and that you cant love him
because there is such a possibility that he is one among those
many people you dont like too much, or are not attracted to here...
This explains why, so many people who dream of the picture perfect guy
find them in long distance or online relationships, because its now so easy
to fit in that picture perfect definition, or become something others want you to be
it has helped, such a great deal to calm those many unspoken feelings..
that may be what I have for him is the niceness I want to return...
that his opinion counts because I respect those some attributes he makes visible..
and that love was a totally different thing...too far fetched for us to discuss
or to see in a person you've bearly known or seen around other people...
that while he was distant, it was easy to for him to hide qualities
he didnt want to make visible...and that you cant love him
because there is such a possibility that he is one among those
many people you dont like too much, or are not attracted to here...
This explains why, so many people who dream of the picture perfect guy
find them in long distance or online relationships, because its now so easy
to fit in that picture perfect definition, or become something others want you to be
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
these 4 yrs...
i have walked
step by step
vacation by vacation
semester by semester
with change of friends,
change of support,
change of persona
change of dreams
change of heart
change of values
I have walked thus far...
these years
i shall never forget
these days...that made me
that shaped me...
life can be
such a dream...
i have walked
step by step
vacation by vacation
semester by semester
with change of friends,
change of support,
change of persona
change of dreams
change of heart
change of values
I have walked thus far...
these years
i shall never forget
these days...that made me
that shaped me...
life can be
such a dream...
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Life's tough...but I am tougher
I woke up on Tuesday Morning with a call, and all I knew then was my sis was to undergo a brain surgery. I left for States as soon as I could, with no idea what was happening next. Life was tough on me, extremely hard. And as I got closer to what was the actual problem-I realized I was unaware of the worst.
I got to Philly where at Upenn were the best doctors for an ENT brain surgery. The only safe part was that it wasn’t a cranial surgery- a huge satisfaction. Patrishia and I got there before sis and Devang kaka did. I have never seen myself that strong. No tears, big huge smile, no thinking of the pressure, no thinking of the surgery, just transmitting as much strength as I could to di. Though at that point that strength seemed very artificial to me, it seemed to be doing wonders for all in my family. I didn’t see mom and dad cry, which added to my strength. Its funny how when a family comes together, its no longer 4* strength of 1 person. It’s much more. Till the very end-till the last second before my surgery, my sis didn’t panic, was strong, all she knew then her reports very scary, she had tumor, cancer or an infection, all with equal probabilities, and she had signed a consent which talked about the complications of the operation- the key being that the mass was hitting both her optic nerves and her brain artery.
After 2 hours once the surgery began, we got a call in waiting area from the the Surgeon(Dr Chui), telling us the mass was benign. As dad hugged an over anxious mom who had carefully controlled her tears by distracting her thoughts with prayers, I sat on the chair and my tears knew no bound. God had done it once again for me. And there wasn’t a way to thank him. Happy I have been many times in life-but nothing even remotely compared to the happiness of saving my sisters life.
5 and a half hours later the doctor came back to inform us of the huge fungal infection that had ruptured her brain, her skull and her nerves. The major chunk of it was cleaned up. The remaining safe enough to be treated with medication. I compare that moment to the situation 8 hours before, the moment just after we were told the ct scan reports scared the surgeon. My faith in God will never weaken, thanks to this one moment, this one realization of his existence.
Di is fine now-she has to still take steroids for a bit, and with all her will-power go back to her patients. She has other risks to take care of, a packing to be removed-which will be painful but my parents will be around to take care of that. I have weakened since the surgery. It was hard to see her in whichever form she was. I chickened out and decided to go back to Toronto as it was hard to see her in pain.
I’ll work hard in life to thank god for the new life he has given my sister. I love you di-I cannot tell you how much, but enough that my life would come to a standstill without you. God- you didn’t save one life on Wednesday, you saved four.
I got to Philly where at Upenn were the best doctors for an ENT brain surgery. The only safe part was that it wasn’t a cranial surgery- a huge satisfaction. Patrishia and I got there before sis and Devang kaka did. I have never seen myself that strong. No tears, big huge smile, no thinking of the pressure, no thinking of the surgery, just transmitting as much strength as I could to di. Though at that point that strength seemed very artificial to me, it seemed to be doing wonders for all in my family. I didn’t see mom and dad cry, which added to my strength. Its funny how when a family comes together, its no longer 4* strength of 1 person. It’s much more. Till the very end-till the last second before my surgery, my sis didn’t panic, was strong, all she knew then her reports very scary, she had tumor, cancer or an infection, all with equal probabilities, and she had signed a consent which talked about the complications of the operation- the key being that the mass was hitting both her optic nerves and her brain artery.
After 2 hours once the surgery began, we got a call in waiting area from the the Surgeon(Dr Chui), telling us the mass was benign. As dad hugged an over anxious mom who had carefully controlled her tears by distracting her thoughts with prayers, I sat on the chair and my tears knew no bound. God had done it once again for me. And there wasn’t a way to thank him. Happy I have been many times in life-but nothing even remotely compared to the happiness of saving my sisters life.
5 and a half hours later the doctor came back to inform us of the huge fungal infection that had ruptured her brain, her skull and her nerves. The major chunk of it was cleaned up. The remaining safe enough to be treated with medication. I compare that moment to the situation 8 hours before, the moment just after we were told the ct scan reports scared the surgeon. My faith in God will never weaken, thanks to this one moment, this one realization of his existence.
Di is fine now-she has to still take steroids for a bit, and with all her will-power go back to her patients. She has other risks to take care of, a packing to be removed-which will be painful but my parents will be around to take care of that. I have weakened since the surgery. It was hard to see her in whichever form she was. I chickened out and decided to go back to Toronto as it was hard to see her in pain.
I’ll work hard in life to thank god for the new life he has given my sister. I love you di-I cannot tell you how much, but enough that my life would come to a standstill without you. God- you didn’t save one life on Wednesday, you saved four.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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